Attitude is Everything: Turning Lemons Into Lemonade
ATTITUDE MATTERS
You’ve probably read or heard that your attitude is everything. Well, I believe this is true! Let’s face it, sometimes you wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Sometimes during the day something happens that affects your attitude. I get it! It happens to all of us. The reality is, particularly when you’re facing an adversity, your attitude (good or bad) carries you through your day. However, by changing your attitude (during those moments), you can change that moment, the direction of your day, and even the course of your future. Your attitude is that powerful and can lead you to solutions or, it can compound problems and make them worse. To quote an old cliché, your attitude is everything and can help you “turn lemons into lemonade.”
Like you, my attitude has been tested on more than one occasion. No matter the challenge, I’ve always tried to carry on with a positive mental attitude. When I was in my early teens, I read The Power of Positive Thinking by minister and author Norman Vincent Peale. This book made a tremendous impression on me. My biggest takeaway was that what you think can impact who you are. I also learned that what you believe can determine your outcome. As a result, I’ve long since adopted a glass-half-full outlook, and this approach served me well during my battle with cancer. (See my complete story https://donarmstronglive.com/welcome-to-finish-your-race-living-your-best-now-life/) Though we might often hear that attitude matters, what I experienced revealed the power of a positive attitude in the most serious way.
The power of attitude didn’t truly register with me until I had an insightful conversion with Dr. Fay, my oncologist, late in my treatment. He was describing my progress and trying to explain the reasons for my success beyond medical treatment. Much to my surprise, Dr. Fay told me, “Your attitude has made the difference in your recovery. I wish that you could speak to some of my patients to share the value and benefit of a positive outlook.” I didn’t really know what to say. I’d never thought about my attitude as a game changer.
THE ORIGINS OF ATTITUDE
Your attitude characterizes the way you respond and relate to people, circumstances, and situations. You might not even be aware of it, but your attitude is constantly informing the way you perceive your world and interact with it. Attitude comes from within and is the accumulation of learned beliefs, values, and assumptions. The accumulation process starts at a very young age and is usually influenced first and foremost by our parents. As we grow and mature, our life experiences continue to influence and shape our attitudes. Attitudes may reside in our subconscious mind, but they play an important role in our conscious decisions and behaviors.
Contrary to what you might think, attitude is not an emotion or feeling. It’s an outward behavior – an active rather than passive expression. It’s a decision you make regarding how you handle anger, fear, sadness, joy, love, or surprise. In other words, something happens to you, or around you, and you react based on the sum total of your life experiences. Attitude is not what you think, but how you think. Keep in mind, no single reaction determines your attitude. Your attitude is the accumulation of your reactions.
But, attitude isn’t just how you perceive the world. Your attitude impacts the way others react to you. As author Keith Harrell wrote: “Attitude is everything. It governs the way you perceive the world and the way the world perceives you.” It might not feel like it sometimes, but your attitude is transparent. Whether you’re positive, negative, pessimistic, optimistic, or apathetic, your attitude reveals your relationship to your self-esteem, self-acceptance, and self-affirmation.
And, here’s something else you should know about attitude: It can 100 percent determine the course of your future. That’s something to seriously think about. My attitude (during my cancer journey) meant, quite literally, the difference between living and dying. It’s that important.
ATTITUDE CAN CHANGE YOUR OUTCOME
My junior year in high school, I was on a golf team representing the Robinson Rams, in Fairfax, Virginia. We were talented enough to win the district and regional tournaments, which qualified us for the high school state golf tournament. Only four of us could go to the state tournament. I was one of the four. We had all worked hard, so my teammates and I were confident we would win the tournament handily.
A week before the state tournament, I decided to join a pickup basketball game. I liked to play basketball, but I wasn’t really very good. Nonetheless, I joined in when a team needed another player. Someone passed the ball to me, and I went up for a jump shot. I made the shot, but when I landed I heard a pop and felt instant throbbing pain in my right ankle. I lay on the ground in agony with only one thought in my head: The state golf tournament is next week.
Here’s the good news – nothing was broken in my ankle. I did, however, have a severe sprain which made it difficult to walk for the first few days. Still, I decided early on that I was going to play in the tournament. I’d practiced long and hard to qualify for this tournament, and nothing was going to deter me.
My ankle did improve in the week leading up to the golf tournament which gave me the confidence that I could compete. I played with a can-do attitude. I hit one shot at a time and played one hole at a time. It wasn’t my greatest round, but I played and was absolutely thrilled. I finished with a first round 80 and a second round 77. Not my best, but respectable. Our team finished third overall, which was a victory for us considering my injury.
The moment I heard that horrible pop, I could have given up and resigned myself to my injury. I could have stayed home with an ice pack on my ankle feeling sorry for myself. Instead, I tapped into my mental toughness and pushed through the pain. I probably had no business playing in that tournament, but I was determined. My positive attitude kept me in the game and propelled me to finish. Proof that your attitude is everything and can help you turn lemons into lemonade. In this instance my attitude changed the outcome!
Think about it for a moment. Could your attitude, good or bad, make an impact on the outcome of a specific event in your life? Let’s say you’re vying for a job you really want. You could choose to pursue it with a positive outlook, or you could take a casual, “Whatever, I don’t stand a chance of being hired” mentality. Both attitudes will impact your outcome, but only one will help you get what you want. The beauty of attitude is that you can apply a positive approach to almost any area of your life. You will quickly see that attitude is essential to receiving your desired outcome. Like it or not, your attitude will affect nearly every outcome of your life—past, present, and future. It also affects your relationships with family and friends, and impacts how others see you. It plays a role in your career and, yes, even your health. Make no mistake, in many ways, attitude can be the make-or-break element in your life.
YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR ATTITUDE
My battle with cancer taught me a great deal about myself and others. One of the most significant lessons was accepting that attitude is a choice. Like me, you have a decision – a choice – to make. I could have resigned myself to the negative possibilities of my diagnosis, but it wasn’t in my nature to do so. Instead, I chose to remain upbeat and positive. My attitude was up to me and no one else. No matter how sick I was, no one could take that choice away from me.
In times of adversity, even if everything feels out of your control, know that you do have control of your reaction. POSITIVE or NEGATIVE > It’s your choice. You make choices about your attitude from the moment you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night. You are reacting to various circumstances every single hour, of every single day, of every single week, month, and year of your life. At any point, at any time, you have the opportunity to define your attitude and change it if it’s not serving you in a positive way. You are the only one responsible for your attitude. You own the impact of your attitude in your life. Understand and be aware that external circumstances and other people are not honest excuses for your attitude.
You can’t control all the events of your life; however, you can control your attitude. You have the power to be positive or negative. Choosing to be positive leads to self-encouragement, self-motivation, and excitement about life. Choosing to be negative leads to self-defeat, self-pity and self-doubt. The outcome of your life is about your attitude and the choices you have made, are making, and will make in the future. You are, in control.
Chuck Swindoll, pastor and author, sums up my thoughts about the control we have over our attitude with these insightful words: “I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it. The same is true for you.”
The remarkable thing about Swindoll’s message is we do have choice every day regarding the attitude we embrace for the day. We are solely in charge of our attitudes. Every single day, your attitude is up to you. These are words you can apply to your life.
HOW TO FLIP YOUR ATTITUDE SCRIPT: POSITIVE > NEGATIVE
So when the going gets tough—let’s say you’ve recently experienced an adversity. Maybe its the loss of a job or fill in the blank. How do you turn those nagging, negative thoughts into more supportive positive affirmations?
1.) Take a deep breath, hit the pause button and remember your past successes. All is not lost. You’re not a failure. Just because you lost your job doesn’t mean you won’t get another one.
2.) Understand that you’re resilient. You’re stronger than you think. You can find another job. This is not the end of the world. The sun really will come up tomorrow. This, too, shall pass.
3.) Don’t be afraid to turn to the people around you for help. You can and should have a support system, and, it’s okay to ask for support now. Moreover, it’s essential to ask for support.
CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE, CHANGE YOUR LIFE
The bottom line is: you can change your attitude and, in the process, change your life. My experience with cancer opened my eyes to the need to change the direction and priorities of my life. Slowly over time, I recognized the limiting factors that were impacting my life and decided to use my forward-looking, positive attitude to change the direction of my life. This wasn’t easy because I had to overcome the doubt and/or fear that I might not be able to change. But, I’d faced tougher obstacles in the past, and believed I could rely on my attitude to get me through the moments of uncertainty.
Negative thinking can get in the way of making a beneficial change in your attitude. It can stop you from moving forward. There’s no “right time.” You can start changing your outlook right now. This very minute. Every day presents a window of opportunity for a change in your attitude.
My attitude evolved from the insight I gained in my early teens. Throughout my life, I’ve chosen a positive attitude over a negative attitude. My attitude served as my ally during my cancer fight. Basically, I was operating by instinct, but unquestionably the experience certainly tested me. My attitude was a game changer. You can experience the same type of success by changing your attitude to confront the next curve ball that life throws at you.
Events, circumstances, and experiences will change your attitude. A change in your attitude can change the course and outcome of your life and the lives of those around you. So, choose wisely. Choose to be positive. Choose to be successful! Choose to overcome! Don’t be afraid to be awesome by changing a negative attitude to a positive attitude, and watch it change your life. Change your attitude and literally change your life! Your attitude is everything and can help you “turn lemons into lemonade.”
Interested in learning more about the life changing strategies learned on my cancer journey, click on this link to purchase a copy of Finish YOUR Race at https://donarmstronglive.com/finish-your-race-book/
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